Earlier today, we linked to coverage in the New York Times about plans afoot at CBS News to change - perhaps dramatically - the look and feel of the 30-minute evening news broadcast. According to insiders, the changes go far beyond just new outfits for the news anchor(s) -- CBS is leaving no stone unturned, going so far as to consult with the "Dr. Phil Show" and MTV News about ways to make the evening news more, well, interesting.

With that in mind (and with apologies to Fellini), here are a few (admittedly tongue-in-cheek) ways that CBS could revitalize the CBS Evening News:

(1) Bring back Max Headroom. CBS could jump to the front of the retro-cyberpunk movement, revolutionize the world with the use of blipverts (thirty seconds of commercial information compressed into a mere three seconds) and become the Zic-Zac of the 21st century.

(2) Go with a cartoon character like Bart Simpson as the lead anchor. After all, Fox News has skipped the 6:30 newscast altogether, instead running episodes of The Simpsons in that all-important time slot. Why not compromise and have a cartoon character like Bart Simpson reading the news?

(3) Change the name of the show to "CBS Evening Rumors." Instead of news, offer rumors. Isn't that what Dan Rather did anyway? The 18-to-34 demographic already has all of its news by 6:30 anyway via the Internet, so why not just focus on rumors and gossip that people on the Net will be talking about tomorrow?

(4) Remake the show in the style of Naked News. Or, better yet, called it "Nekkid News." Anything with the word "naked" in it has to be a winner, right? What an easy way to appeal to different demographics: each night would be a different naked newscaster.

(5) Combine reality television with the network news. Network interns can compete for the role of lead anchor by completing a series of tasks over the course of the year. The winner gets a job with CBS News and a big fat paycheck from Viacom's Sumner Redstone for saving the company.

(6) Remake the show in the style of CBS's wildly-popular CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Hasn't that show already had a multitude of spin-offs anyway? Viewers like the show, so give 'em more of what they want, right? There's no better lead-in for CSI than a real-life news broadcast dedicated to stories that will later be scripted into future CSI shows.

(7) Copy the best parts of the Late Show With David Letterman. There would be a "Top 10" news countdown, a live-studio band, and really silly stunts like "Stupid Newsmaker Tricks."

(8) Change the name of the show from CBS News to "See B.S. News" The evening "news" would become just a lot of BS. You know, crazy stories lifted from Fark.com or wild conspiracy rumors about Bush and Cheney's plan to takeover the world.

(8 1/2) Remake the look and feel of the CBS Evening News to look exactly like a Web page. Add lots of annoying banners and Google text ads for CBS shows for good measure so that TV viewers forget that they're in front of the TV. Make sure that the video feed starts and stops at random times, just like the "buffering" process on my broadband connection when I download clips. Once interactive TV becomes a reality, viewers will be clamoring to buy the ties and outfits of the lead anchor (whoever it turns out to be).